When you pity sick people, you disempower them (including yourself). A young girl with Cystic Fibrosis understood this very well. She knew she would be sick for the rest of her life, but she didn’t let that stop her. Instead, she used her understanding and passion to help others.
If she can do it, so can you! Believe it.
No matter what your situation or your past, you can turn it around and live more fully right now, right where you are. This might mean adding a couple throw pillows to your couch, or writing a love note on your mirror to remind you that you are beautiful or capable.
Sometimes survivors don’t even take proper care of themselves with a decent haircut, a visit to the dentist, or even just taking a shower regularly.
Being kind, gentle and considerate to yourself (and others) makes a difference. Sprucing up your space makes a difference. Reading a book makes a difference. Eating when you are hungry makes a difference.
Some of these things sound like basic tasks that most people take for granted. But as a survivor, you might just be the person that doesn’t prioritize these basic tasks.
I’m not saying our choices are always due to self-pity, but if yours are… Stop it! Stop pitying others who are in hardship and certainly stop pitying yourself. It is hard to have goals or experience a life that is fulfilling if you spend your time mired in a pity party. There is no lower energy. Even anger and sadness are less debilitating.
So if you are stuck in self-pity, self-loathing, or even just not prioritizing your needs properly, what’s the best way to break the cycle?
Take some small action.
Try something you’ve been wanting to do. Go to a movie by yourself and enjoy it! Eat lunch outside. For me, I literally had to set a lunch alarm on my phone just so that I will stop and eat. It really doesn’t matter what your change is, as long as it’s a change that is healthy and positive. Anything will do, no matter how small. Just do something good for yourself!
Action changes attitude and provides experiential feedback for better action in the future.
You can’t get from A-Z without taking that first step.
Aiming for leaps can sometimes set us back because we may not have the skills or experience to be successful yet. Then we feel even worse and more useless. BUT BABY STEPS WORK!
Make a commitment to yourself to do something small today that will lighten your load just a tiny bit. It might be simply going to sleep early. Or eating breakfast. Only you know what’s right for you.
What can you do today that would make your life a little more beautiful?
This post was written by:
Asha Lightbearer is an award-winning singer-songwriter and healer from Atlanta, GA (Marietta/Roswell). She is the creator of Fiona (The Renegade) and the founder of The Fiona Project music and arts movement for Child Sexual Abuse prevention and healing. As a child sexual abuse survivor from a small town in rural New England, Asha used her music to heal herself over the years. Today, she is a firm advocate for using music and the arts as a powerful voice for change and uses her songs and stage to bring CSA awareness, prevention and healing to music lovers wherever she performs.